Error

To You
Actually I never plan to meet you.
Your existence is not on the right time.

Seriously, I've no any feeling towards you.
Sometimes I just feel like,
Can you stop it? Can you get out of my life?
Can you let me have a break?

Stop forcing me to do something that I don't like.
I did not refuse doesn't mean that I agree with you.

I'm just too soft-hearted and do not know how to express my feeling in front of you.
If you think that we're perfectly together, you're wrong!
We do not match with each other.
You're not my type and I'm sure I'm not your type too.

Let time reveals everything.


To You
I'm not that girl.
We're not the same girl.

If we were not look alike, would you have a look on me?
If we were not look alike, would you ever noticed me?

Noooo
I'm pretty sure the answer is NO.

I knew it was just an error occurred.
Error between us. Error for that feeling.

You're just missing that little girl. You're just trying to find her from me.
This is the way you could miss her.

When you're going overseas later on, you'll forget me for sure.
I know
One day, you will have that courage to meet that girl.
Or maybe I just have to wait for your good news. Haha
Give yourself a smile and be confident :)

Love & Hate

18 and 22 years old.

Old enough to get into a fight?

Hate

Dislike

Hardly could I understand these which happen to both of you.

Won't both of you feel tired after the fight and quarrel?

Quarrel and fight is quite common in between siblings when we were in young age.

I still remembered four of us used to get into fight when we were at home without parents in those old days.

In the age of 8, I had that thought 'why I want to fight? so bored and no benefit at all' 

Then I stopped fighting. Hahaha~

Since then I never fight with my siblings and seldom have quarrels with them.

I'm more to a soft person and have good temper among them.

Now I'm 20.

I still couldn't believe you guys are still quarreling over small matters.

I hate the quarrels, I hate the fights.

I'm starting to get worried, panicked and every negative thoughts came into my mind.

Stressed!!!

Why your quarrel could gave me so much of tension and stressed me all the time?

Every of you are trying to ask me to do this and that.

I think 'order' would be better to describe.

Yes, they order me to look after both of you. 

Order me to take care of this 18 years old KID.

Order me to ask him go to school, what time should he get home, what time should he sleep, what should he eat etc etc etc. 

Order me to clean the house.

Order me to keep my eyes on both of you.

Order me to give money to KID.

Order me to put all my attention on both of you.

My freedom? life? dream? studies? 

Where they go?

I cared too much. I gave too much.

I wanted to care less and go away from all these.

I want to continue my studies in somewhere else, as long as not with you guys.

I want to get rid all of these. 

But can I?

I'm tired.

I'm really tired.

Please let me have a break. Seriously.

Maybe I should be selfish a bit.

Maybe I should care less.

To my Love

Confused.

Blurred.

Mixed feelings.

To You.

That day,

My heart was so pain.

I thought I've let go of you.

But no.

The conversation hit my mind and heart.

Finally I knew what's running in your mind.

When I got to know the truth at that moment,

My heart was like stop beating at that particular moment.

I was the only person felt in this way.

I felt I was that naive, out of a sudden.

Actually, 

You've turned away since that day.

You are moving on right now 

and

searching for another girl.

Why why why...

I was wondering why is it that easy for you to put down, forget and move on?

Sometimes, speaking frankly, I wanted to be just like you- just put it down and move on.

Just that easy, isn't it?

Deep in my heart, I knew that I can't.

Even though lots of people are asking me,

"Hey, are you still missing him?"

or

"Hey, do you still have feeling towards him?"

I always give that answer-

C'mon, of course I put it down already. It has been so long time.

I thought I could lie to myself.

But now, no, the answer is so clear that I'm still in that relationship.

I can't put it down yet.

Yes you might don't love me anymore.

I do not put any blame on you.

There's no right or wrong in a relationship.

You have your rights to turn away at anytime.

Maybe you just don't get why am I still having this shit feeling right now.

I knew you won't turn back.

I knew you won't even look at me anymore.

But, my heart is so stubborn that

I'm still loving you.

Sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry that I love you.

Sorry that I hurt you.

Sorry that I've missed you.