Error

To You
Actually I never plan to meet you.
Your existence is not on the right time.

Seriously, I've no any feeling towards you.
Sometimes I just feel like,
Can you stop it? Can you get out of my life?
Can you let me have a break?

Stop forcing me to do something that I don't like.
I did not refuse doesn't mean that I agree with you.

I'm just too soft-hearted and do not know how to express my feeling in front of you.
If you think that we're perfectly together, you're wrong!
We do not match with each other.
You're not my type and I'm sure I'm not your type too.

Let time reveals everything.


To You
I'm not that girl.
We're not the same girl.

If we were not look alike, would you have a look on me?
If we were not look alike, would you ever noticed me?

Noooo
I'm pretty sure the answer is NO.

I knew it was just an error occurred.
Error between us. Error for that feeling.

You're just missing that little girl. You're just trying to find her from me.
This is the way you could miss her.

When you're going overseas later on, you'll forget me for sure.
I know
One day, you will have that courage to meet that girl.
Or maybe I just have to wait for your good news. Haha
Give yourself a smile and be confident :)

Love & Hate

18 and 22 years old.

Old enough to get into a fight?

Hate

Dislike

Hardly could I understand these which happen to both of you.

Won't both of you feel tired after the fight and quarrel?

Quarrel and fight is quite common in between siblings when we were in young age.

I still remembered four of us used to get into fight when we were at home without parents in those old days.

In the age of 8, I had that thought 'why I want to fight? so bored and no benefit at all' 

Then I stopped fighting. Hahaha~

Since then I never fight with my siblings and seldom have quarrels with them.

I'm more to a soft person and have good temper among them.

Now I'm 20.

I still couldn't believe you guys are still quarreling over small matters.

I hate the quarrels, I hate the fights.

I'm starting to get worried, panicked and every negative thoughts came into my mind.

Stressed!!!

Why your quarrel could gave me so much of tension and stressed me all the time?

Every of you are trying to ask me to do this and that.

I think 'order' would be better to describe.

Yes, they order me to look after both of you. 

Order me to take care of this 18 years old KID.

Order me to ask him go to school, what time should he get home, what time should he sleep, what should he eat etc etc etc. 

Order me to clean the house.

Order me to keep my eyes on both of you.

Order me to give money to KID.

Order me to put all my attention on both of you.

My freedom? life? dream? studies? 

Where they go?

I cared too much. I gave too much.

I wanted to care less and go away from all these.

I want to continue my studies in somewhere else, as long as not with you guys.

I want to get rid all of these. 

But can I?

I'm tired.

I'm really tired.

Please let me have a break. Seriously.

Maybe I should be selfish a bit.

Maybe I should care less.

To my Love

Confused.

Blurred.

Mixed feelings.

To You.

That day,

My heart was so pain.

I thought I've let go of you.

But no.

The conversation hit my mind and heart.

Finally I knew what's running in your mind.

When I got to know the truth at that moment,

My heart was like stop beating at that particular moment.

I was the only person felt in this way.

I felt I was that naive, out of a sudden.

Actually, 

You've turned away since that day.

You are moving on right now 

and

searching for another girl.

Why why why...

I was wondering why is it that easy for you to put down, forget and move on?

Sometimes, speaking frankly, I wanted to be just like you- just put it down and move on.

Just that easy, isn't it?

Deep in my heart, I knew that I can't.

Even though lots of people are asking me,

"Hey, are you still missing him?"

or

"Hey, do you still have feeling towards him?"

I always give that answer-

C'mon, of course I put it down already. It has been so long time.

I thought I could lie to myself.

But now, no, the answer is so clear that I'm still in that relationship.

I can't put it down yet.

Yes you might don't love me anymore.

I do not put any blame on you.

There's no right or wrong in a relationship.

You have your rights to turn away at anytime.

Maybe you just don't get why am I still having this shit feeling right now.

I knew you won't turn back.

I knew you won't even look at me anymore.

But, my heart is so stubborn that

I'm still loving you.

Sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry that I love you.

Sorry that I hurt you.

Sorry that I've missed you.

很久以前写的-2011

没有他的支持

有梦想是多么快乐的一件事呐~  拥有梦想，是美好的，别人怎么样也抢不掉你的梦想，所以我说梦想是美好的，至少对我而言。

我一直都有好几个梦想。但，我从来都不敢告诉任何人我那渺小的梦想。也许，害怕别人给予的评语不是我想听的。也许，有时自己也没什么信心。

好想告诉他，我全部的梦想。

想告诉他是因为想让他为我感到开心，在我耳边小声的亲口说，“加油，别放弃!”

但，事与愿违，他完全对我的梦想一无所知。我没告诉他，他从来没问我。

最近，脑袋瓜忽然想起那早就被我埋在比心底还要再里面的梦想。想想现在的我，18岁。名副其实的年轻人，够资格去追寻我的梦想。不管再有什么样的阻扰，不会轻易的放手。

我该跟他说梦想的事吗？得到的会是正面的鼓励，还是造成心里另一个伤害。

曾经我想就这样直奔我的梦想，完全不在乎那些不看好我的人。

可是，在有这个念头的下一秒，很自然你的出现让我止步了。

梦想，我该向你前进吗？

曾经-2010

当我想起要为这个新的blog打些什么文章的，

有个人从我的脑海中闪过。

我不能否认，也只能承认了。XD

你是那个人，

轻易牵动我心的那个人。

我的心情都是看你的反应而定。

当你给了我开心、满足的表情，

这样已经足以让我高兴一天了。

当你给了我个没有表情、没有任何感觉的表情，

这样也真的让我想了好久-

你到底是怎么了。发生了什么事吗。是我让你不高兴了吗。

总之，你到底怎么了嘛。

当男生遇到事情/压力时，

做女朋友的不是应该安安静静在一旁，等你冷静下来，再问你怎么了吗。

我就是不想让你觉得我很烦，所以我才会在你旁边陪你。

我害怕要是我一直追问你怎么了，

你会觉得我真的是烦透了，

觉得我吵死了，不给你一点安静的空间。

相信我，我没有不想理你。

我下一次一定会烦你、烦你烦到你说停我才停止。

这样，你绝对没理由让你挑了。呵呵 =目

你，让我很难捉摸。

真的，好难。

但，我绝对没放弃去了解你，也不会放弃。

同样我们都是水瓶座，但怎么好像不是很了解你呢。

我自责了。

请再给我时间，我会证明给你看。

让你知道我也是在乎你。