M I X E D

Thoughts are mixed up inside my head.

It's already been 2 Months+

I swear to myself that it's gonna be okay.

Everything is okay.

Everything would be okay.

Eventually, it would be okay.

Most of the time, people asks me 

"Hey, are you okay?"

Seriously, I wanted to say "Hell NO"

But now, I learn to say this

"No, but I would be okay eventually"

I remembered I was so struggling to put everything down

After I've been waiting for sometime for the confirmation, 

I did thought that it would end up perfectly

If it's not perfect, at least, it's the way I wanted.

But,

things didn't go well.

which another person ended up turning away from me

and I'm all alone again.

It was painful. I was struggling.

Struggled so hard.

Summer started, he came in my life.

Summer ended, he went away.

It was so ironic. Everything happened ironically.

Just like he never ever appeared in my life before.

Hahaha

Cried. Mad. Calmed. Painful. Tried to forget and get over him. 

and then, I just found out the lies.

lies lies lies

I'd rather slapped by the painful truth 

than being cheated with a beautifully made-up lies

It happened way too early,

even before I made the decision.

At first, stayed as friends was totally fine for me.

He gets his life, I live my own.

But, after I knew the truth, 

madness and furious filled my heart and mind.

I'm not gonna be friends with a liar.

Don't tell me you're serious with me,

when you're not.

I knew playful people won't tell people about their true self.

But, at least, at least,

don't give too much of hope and get her brick walls down 

till she'd believe that you're her hope.

****************************************************************

When you're over with someone,

leave them with peaceful mind.

Don't interrupt them.

Don't try to break into their life.

Don't ever make their life miserable.

I knew not everyone would do this.

But, at least I do.

When it's over, it's over. 

But, reality is different.

REALLY different.

There's assholes and jerks in this world.

The relation went rough and gone bad.

Okay fine, I packed and left.

Anything would be fine if he were just leaving me alone,

without doing anything to me.

#jerksbeingjerks

What made you so desperate? 

What made you being a cheapskate?

I never take anything that doesn't belong to me, 

but what belonged to me, you took it away.

you just took them away, like they are yours. 

Damn you asshole!

Don't you feel ashamed of yourself? for being a thief???

Gonna cut off this kind of people from my life.

Don't ever say Hi to me. 

If you really did, 

sorry I would only show you my #baddestbitch face.

I was so ashamed of this kind of people in my life.

Cause everyone lives with their own problems. 

That's life :)

But, why can't just spare other people with peace. 

Why would they wanna put people's life in miserable terms.

Some people just won't learn. 

They don't really learn from what they experienced or gone through.

Jerk, you said you've gone through a lot yeah? 

Lemme tell you, you're not. 

Cause you haven't get the pain in da ass.

But, you will. You will get the pain eventually.

Then, you would come to realize that someone stood there for you, 

but you neglected her and treated her like an option.

****************************************************************

BULLSHITS

I'm getting lots of bullshits in my life.

People pretends and acts like they're the innocent one.

You act innocently in front of me, 

I'll make sure you get your lessons.

If you don't learn from your lesson, 

Good, congrats, continue to be the jerks 

and one day, 

your daughter will feel the pain just like how you hurt girls' hearts

Hell yeah, I'm the baddest bitch now.